In my Bible Study group, we are working through the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. For me, it is a revisiting after about 15 years, and so it was particularly interesting to read the chapter on “Boundaries and Work”. Here is my summary of the chapter, noting the Nine Common Problems we experience at work, and suggested responses.
Impact of the Fall (Genesis 3) on Work:
Work isn’t fun anymore (the ground is cursed, there are thorns and thistles)
Like Adam and Eve, we blame others when things don’t work out (disownership)
With the advent of sin, love was separated from work = we don’t work because we ‘want to’ but because we ‘should’
Work and character development:
We make the distinction between secular versus ministry = yet we all have a vocation/ministry
Jesus uses parables about work to teach us about
Dealing with money
Completing tasks
Faithful stewardship in a job
Honest emotional dealings in work
Work is a spiritual activity, that is, we are made in the image of God the worker; and we co-labour with God
[Kara’s addition: it is where we can be most tested, and have an opportunity to develop the fruit of the Spirit]
Problems:
1. Getting saddled with another’s responsibilities
How do we avoid doing someone else’s work?
Don’t do it, you are enabling their irresponsibility
Let them own their own responsibility
Don’t fear their anger
Make sure you explain clearly what is your responsibility and what is their’s
Don’t respond to their anger with anger
Don’t justify why you won’t do their work
Exception: genuine need, once-off help
2. Working too much overtime
How do we respond when there is an unacceptable amount of work?
Your working overtime is your problem; don’t be a victim of an abusive situation
An example of a good response, “You have a problem. You hired me for 20 hours a week and have given me 40 hours’ work. Which 20 hours do you want done?”
Set boundaries on your work = decide what overtime you will do, taking into account seasonal crunch
Review your job description (if you have one)
Make a list of tasks you will complete
Make an appointment with your boss to discuss job overload
If your boss is intransigent: decide whether to stay or leave
3. Misplaced priorities
Know your limits and enforce them. Strive to do excellent work, and spend time on the most important (not urgent) things.
Make sure you, your boss and your team are agreed on what is important
Say no to the unimportant
Beware distractions
Prioritise
Work will grow to fill the time allotted therefore set boundaries on start and finish
Delegate (Just as Jethro advised Moses in Exodus 18:13–27)
4. Difficult co-workers
The Boundary Law of Power: you can only change yourself, not someone else
Don’t make the other person the problem
You are the one in pain, fix it
Change your own reaction
5. Critical attitudes from boss/co-worker
When working with people who are critical don’t try and win them over (it’s impossible) or allow them to provoke you
Keep an accurate self-appraisal (rather than their opinion)
Confront them about their impact (possibly with others affected)
Follow the organisation’s grievance policy
Limit your exposure to them: physically and/or emotionally
6. Conflicts with authority
If you have issues with your boss, you may be experiencing transference (transferring past feelings onto the present person) = resulting from unfinished business in the past with authority figures (parents/teachers/other bosses)
If you react strongly, attend to those feelings to seek the source
Work out your feelings = they are your problem/distortions
·If you are very competitive = it might be a result of unresolved sibling rivalry
Leave the past in the past
7. Expecting too much of work
Work is not a family; or a social support structure; work colleagues are not paid to be your friends
The workplace should be safe, supportive and nurturing but focused on work e.g. to learn, improve, and get the work done
Work cannot make up for what is lacking in other areas of your life e.g. relationships, self-esteem, need for approval
Meet your social, relationship and emotional needs outside work
Keep personal boundaries and work boundaries firm and separate
8. Taking work-related stress home
Have boundaries = don’t allow work stress to affect home
Emotional issues such as conflict need to be dealt with and not allowed to impact on home relationships. Work issues stay at work; attend to any strong feelings and sort them out.
Time, energy and resources need to be managed so there is enough for all areas of your life
9. Disliking your job
Work can get caught up in your identity. We may constantly look for the perfect job (there isn’t one!).
We may struggle to meet expectations of others
Boundary issue may flow from lack of proper separation from family = whose dream job are you seeking? May also be issues of comparison with friends.
Tips to finding your life’s work
Establish your identity, separating from those you are attached to, and knowing your own gifts and desires
Pray and step out as God leads you = see Psalm 37, focus on verses 4–6.
You are accountable for the work you do to God (Colossians 3:17, 23–24)
See your work as a partnership with God; seek his ways; ask him for help.