Boundaries and Work: Nine Common Problems at Work

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In my Bible Study group, we are working through the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. For me, it is a revisiting after about 15 years, and so it was particularly interesting to read the chapter on “Boundaries and Work”. Here is my summary of the chapter, noting the Nine Common Problems we experience at work, and suggested responses.

Impact of the Fall (Genesis 3) on Work:

  • Work isn’t fun anymore (the ground is cursed, there are thorns and thistles)

  • Like Adam and Eve, we blame others when things don’t work out (disownership)

  • With the advent of sin, love was separated from work = we don’t work because we ‘want to’ but because we ‘should’

Work and character development:

  • We make the distinction between secular versus ministry = yet we all have a vocation/ministry

  • Jesus uses parables about work to teach us about

    • Dealing with money

    • Completing tasks

    • Faithful stewardship in a job

    • Honest emotional dealings in work

  • Work is a spiritual activity, that is, we are made in the image of God the worker; and we co-labour with God

  • [Kara’s addition: it is where we can be most tested, and have an opportunity to develop the fruit of the Spirit]

Problems:

1.     Getting saddled with another’s responsibilities

  • How do we avoid doing someone else’s work?

    • Don’t do it, you are enabling their irresponsibility

    • Let them own their own responsibility

    • Don’t fear their anger

    • Make sure you explain clearly what is your responsibility and what is their’s

    • Don’t respond to their anger with anger

    • Don’t justify why you won’t do their work

  • Exception: genuine need, once-off help

2.     Working too much overtime

  • How do we respond when there is an unacceptable amount of work?

  • Your working overtime is your problem; don’t be a victim of an abusive situation

  • An example of a good response, “You have a problem. You hired me for 20 hours a week and have given me 40 hours’ work. Which 20 hours do you want done?”

  1. Set boundaries on your work = decide what overtime you will do, taking into account seasonal crunch

  2. Review your job description (if you have one)

  3. Make a list of tasks you will complete

  4. Make an appointment with your boss to discuss job overload

  5. If your boss is intransigent: decide whether to stay or leave

3.     Misplaced priorities

  • Know your limits and enforce them. Strive to do excellent work, and spend time on the most important (not urgent) things.

  • Make sure you, your boss and your team are agreed on what is important

  • Say no to the unimportant

  • Beware distractions

  • Prioritise

  • Work will grow to fill the time allotted therefore set boundaries on start and finish

  • Delegate (Just as Jethro advised Moses in Exodus 18:13–27)

4.     Difficult co-workers

  • The Boundary Law of Power: you can only change yourself, not someone else

  • Don’t make the other person the problem

  • You are the one in pain, fix it

  • Change your own reaction

5.     Critical attitudes from boss/co-worker

  • When working with people who are critical don’t try and win them over (it’s impossible) or allow them to provoke you

  • Keep an accurate self-appraisal (rather than their opinion)

  • Confront them about their impact (possibly with others affected)

  • Follow the organisation’s grievance policy

  • Limit your exposure to them: physically and/or emotionally

6.     Conflicts with authority

  • If you have issues with your boss, you may be experiencing transference (transferring past feelings onto the present person) = resulting from unfinished business in the past with authority figures (parents/teachers/other bosses)

  • If you react strongly, attend to those feelings to seek the source

  • Work out your feelings = they are your problem/distortions

  • ·If you are very competitive = it might be a result of unresolved sibling rivalry

  • Leave the past in the past

7.     Expecting too much of work

  • Work is not a family; or a social support structure; work colleagues are not paid to be your friends

  • The workplace should be safe, supportive and nurturing but focused on work e.g. to learn, improve, and get the work done

  • Work cannot make up for what is lacking in other areas of your life e.g. relationships, self-esteem, need for approval

  • Meet your social, relationship and emotional needs outside work

  • Keep personal boundaries and work boundaries firm and separate

8.      Taking work-related stress home

  • Have boundaries = don’t allow work stress to affect home

  • Emotional issues such as conflict need to be dealt with and not allowed to impact on home relationships. Work issues stay at work; attend to any strong feelings and sort them out.

  • Time, energy and resources need to be managed so there is enough for all areas of your life

9.     Disliking your job

  • Work can get caught up in your identity. We may constantly look for the perfect job (there isn’t one!).

  • We may struggle to meet expectations of others

  • Boundary issue may flow from lack of proper separation from family = whose dream job are you seeking? May also be issues of comparison with friends.

 

Tips to finding your life’s work

  • Establish your identity, separating from those you are attached to, and knowing your own gifts and desires

  • Pray and step out as God leads you = see Psalm 37, focus on verses 4–6.

  • You are accountable for the work you do to God (Colossians 3:17, 23–24)

  • See your work as a partnership with God; seek his ways; ask him for help.